Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
