no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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