Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
