drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we made out on top of his cat.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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