I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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