Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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