your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
