Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
