oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
