I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
