So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
