i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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