This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
