and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
