And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
