my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
