Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
