i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
