thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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