How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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