Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
