margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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