Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
