Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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