Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
