I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
