I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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