Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
