I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
