piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
