I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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