I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
