Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
vagina is talking i cant
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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