guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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