I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im six kinds of drunk right now
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
