idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
