UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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