fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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