did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
