I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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