i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
