He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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