Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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