apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
