hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
