kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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