oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
