So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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