I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My life is pants optional.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
