Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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