I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My dick has a subreddit
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
