I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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