It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
